racist jokes

trendkiller · Post by **trendkiller** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:50 pm

A guy walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat. He goes up to the bar and orders 2 beers and a saucer of milk, and they go and sit at a table. A while later the ostrich comes up to the bar and orders another round, and sits back at the table. After they finish these, the man goes back to the bar and orders more drinks. 'woah! hold on a minute,' says the barman. 'how come the cat isnt buying a round?'. 'well funny you should ask,' says the man. 'I was just walking down the street a little while ago, and I saw this lamp on the floor. I picked it up and gave it a little polish and out popped a genie. The genie said he'd been trapped in the lamp for hundreds of years, and he was so grateful to be let out that he was going to grant me one wish.' 'So what did you ask for?, says the barman, baffled. 'I asked for a tall bird with a tight pussy!'

Ellen · Post by **Ellen** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:53 pm

Yeah that's not that funny.

shit · Post by **shit** » Sun Sep 07, 2008 3:47 pm

Why can't stevie wonder read? Because he's a black bastard.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Sep 07, 2008 4:27 pm

Apparently some black guy pulled up and asked for directions last night, before my buddy and his girlfriend could get a word in edgewise I said "I'd be happy to help you, but I may be a little drunk! Ask me again in an hour!"; then they told him which way to go and I saluted him and said "You're a good man, Charlie Brown."

They thought that was racist.

Richard The Duke · Post by **Richard The Duke** » Sun Sep 07, 2008 11:25 pm

Q. If a white man and a black man fall off a building at exactly the same time, which one hits the ground first? Assume they both weigh the same.

A. The white man hits the ground first because the black man stays up to wash the windows.

Lager · Post by **Lager** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:57 am

shit wrote:Why can't stevie wonder read? Because he's a black bastard.

trendkiller · Post by **trendkiller** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 11:34 pm

You were supposed to say "thats not racist"

And then I say "the cat was black"

fail

walking_ash · Post by **walking_ash** » Thu Sep 11, 2008 4:43 pm

What do you call a black guy who flies a plane?

A pilot, you racist fuck.

charlie · Post by **charlie** » Fri Sep 12, 2008 10:25 am

Ellen wrote:Yeah that's not that funny.

Fuck you it was hilarious.

DBS · Post by **DBS** » Mon Sep 29, 2008 4:54 am

Lager wrote:
shit wrote:Why can't stevie wonder read? Because he's a black bastard.

RandomRussianDude · Post by **RandomRussianDude** » Sat Oct 04, 2008 1:25 pm

Q: What does a black and a tornado have in common?
A: It only takes one to ruin a good town.

Q: How do you know a black woman is pregnant?
A: All the cotton is picked off her tampon.

Q: What't the only thing worse than 200 niggers moving into your town?
A: 200 pregnant niggers.

Q: What's white on top and black on the bottom?
A: Society.

and some antisemitism for desert:

Q: What's the difference between a jew and santa?
A: Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

Bren · Post by **Bren** » Sat Oct 04, 2008 2:43 pm

RandomRussianDude wrote:
Q: What's white on top and black on the bottom?
A: Society.

Guinness

Izzy · Post by **Izzy** » Sat Oct 04, 2008 4:16 pm

Q: What do you call a black guy in a suit and tie?
A: Nigger.

Boshtwik · Post by **Boshtwik** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:18 pm

Richard The Duke wrote:Q. If a white man and a black man fall off a building at exactly the same time, which one hits the ground first? Assume they both weigh the same.

A. The white man hits the ground first because the black man stays up to wash the windows.

holy shit i should look in this section of the board more

tokin20deuce · Post by **tokin20deuce** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 11:41 pm

RandomRussianDude wrote:Q: What does a black and a tornado have in common?
A: It only takes one to ruin a good town.

Q: How do you know a black woman is pregnant?
A: All the cotton is picked off her tampon.

Q: What't the only thing worse than 200 niggers moving into your town?
A: 200 pregnant niggers.

Q: What's white on top and black on the bottom?
A: Society.

and some antisemitism for desert:

Q: What's the difference between a jew and santa?
A: Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

well done sir